I just bought a new beginning instead

There are so many things to talk about when it comes to love. It's such a powerful emotion that anyone can relate to. It can be the love for one's country, people, friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. It cannot really be defined by anyone because people have their own definition about it based on their experience of it. And for me, it is something special and shared with not just with a significant other but also to my friends and family.

But of course, there are also things about love that are really hard to accept. It is the reality that when there is love, there is pain. The two always go together in life, and you learn that one as days go by. It's such a hard thing to accept that, and it will really take time for you to finally accept it. Imagine, you have to go through five stages - In denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Each stage is a struggle, but as you go through each stage you've come to realize that you're also learning. Let's just say that I believe that when a person is in pain, he/she learns to be stronger, better, and wiser. You learn to be more realistic with life, that there's really no happy endings or that you can't have everything that you want. It may sound as bitter as it gets, but sometimes you have to feel and experience things for you to be able to learn new things in life.

Whatever a person's definition of love is, I still believe that it is something that connects people in this world. And no matter how tough or struggle that people experience about it, it still what gives people hope in the end. Well, if someone finally realizes that happy endings do not really happen (except to the rare ones), it's not too late to have a new beginnings. If you lose something, it will be replaced that could possibly be better. And yes, people will be able to learn to love again like it's never going to hurt. It's one of the best cycles in life that makes everything more interesting that people learn in the process.

Love knocks you down

My parents never wanted me to have a boyfriend until I finish school. They always tell me that it will just destroy my entire future. Well, I never listened until I finally realized that it will give me much pain in the end.

There are thousands of reasons why people end relationships. It could be the love just died in the relationship, or one found someone better. Stability, beliefs, and other things could be the few things for relationships to end. But whatever the reasons are, the worst part of it is the pain of ending things. It is the pain that you feel when someone that you really love and special to you just dies. Imagine, you do not really have control about it because it's his/her time to die already. You try your best to convince yourself that it was meant to happen and to cope with life having that reality. You try to do a lot of things, hoping that it will keep your mind busy and not think about what happened. But then, no matter what you do and try to go on with life it still hits you deep inside and makes everything harder.

The moving on part is really the hardest thing about it. However, in the long run, I know that one day people will realize why it should happen. There's so much more to happen in life, and yes it includes pain. Just continue the lyrics and say to yourself, "Just get back up when it knocks you down".

"Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything"

When you have someone to be with every single day, you can't help but feel that the world can never be against you. You feel that every day is a blessing with that person. You just smile and feel giddy thinking of him/her. And you never want every minute to end whenever you are in the arms of that person. Yes, it's THAT kind of love. It's not the love that you get from your mother, neighbor, friend, or even your dog. It's that love that is given to you by someone that you love in a special and romantic way.

What's so special?

Well, let's just say that someone accepts you for who you are even if he/she is such a mess or a cry baby. He/she understands you even if there are a lot of conflicts and chaos surrounding you. Both of you learn the essence of compromise, and how it gives magic to any kind of relationship. You two make each other happy by doing things together or for each other, making you feel that bliss that you really want and needed. Someone will wipe your tears, then hugs you and kisses you with their eyes closed. There's that special affection and chemistry that you two only understand. And you have your own ways of showing that you really love him/her.

Then you learn to love it deeply, like it's never going to end.

Infatuation

My first ever crush was Jason. He was my classmate back in Kinder school. He's a handsome little meztiso boy that I really, really liked. I really can't remember if I was able to be friends with him. All I knew then is that he makes me feel giddy whenever he's around. Thus, that feeling which is sometimes thought as love.

Part of growing up, or simply part of life is the feeling of being attracted to someone. It's a normal feeling that you start to like someone because of his/her physical qualities. You start to feel giddy whenever that person just passes by. You can't help but just smile then think of the maybes of being with that certain person. However, that does not end there because sometimes they really become involve with you or even be in a relationship with you. That's the part when people sometimes feel that it is love, when in the end they realize that they were just blinded or they really just thought it was.

I had a funny experience back in grade school with a certain guy. Well, let's just say that when you're still at that age you would think that every little thing that a guy says is true. It really sucked how I almost believed in everything that he said with those sweet messages and calls. Of course, he suddenly disappeared. It was just like that, and I can't even remember why or how. Well, I don't want to remember that anymore. The thing is, I thought that was IT. I know it's really funny, but sometimes you need that kind of experience to let you see things clearly. And that's as shallow as you can get, but at least the ones that followed weren't like that. It's such a learning experience as you progress from there until you finally find that love that you want to have.

10 years and counting

I remember there was a time when a bus passed by our house, then I saw a familiar face. She looked at me at waved too, then I waved back. It did not happen just once, I think. Then unexpectedly, that person became my busmate.

It was a love-hate relationship at first. You know how kids are, very immature that they fight for the petty things in life. So we experienced that, and I really find those days funny at how our relationship became funnier then stronger. We've been together since our extremely nene days, when she did not care on how she looked and I had those braces that made me look sick. And no, we're not together, as in that kind of relationship. But I'm proud to say that she's my bestfriend. Although sometimes, we feel as if we're in a romantic relationship since we easily get upset with each other and all. But seriously, we have that kind of platonic love that I am so grateful about.

She's one of my friends who really understands and knows me very well. The best thing is that she's the person that I could really talk to about almost anything and everything. We don't really care if we cannot relate to each other's stories at times, as long as we share what's been happening to our own lives. We try our best to understand each other, and everything just to keep up with each other despite of tight schedules.

Another one is the person that I met through a friend. We did not expect that we would really be close and everything that we are now. She's my other bestfriend that I also rely to whenever I'm extremely down and all. Just like my other bestfriend, she gives that love that I need by helping, understanding, and being there for me.

They really make me sane, especially now. And the other reason why my relationship with them became stronger, is the fact that I also showed them that I love them by also being there for them and everything that they've been doing to me. It's really a give and take kind of relationship, which I really think should be.

It starts at home

I grew up being the mommy's little cry baby of the family. Whenever my older sisters drown me to death or just tease me, I run towards my mom. She never fails to hug me then gets mad at my older sisters. And because of that, I always felt that love. From there, I was able to have my own concept of love through that experience.

However, as I grew up I learned that I cannot really get everything that I want. My mom tried her best to discipline me, to the point that she almost used a belt. I will never forget how I looked that time because I was such a helpless kid, crying and apologizing to my mom. Well, I will never do that to my future daughter okay. But I knew at that moment that my mom was not really doing that because she hated me, but because she did not like what I did. Yes, she hurt me but that was her way of telling me that she loves me, so she wants me to learn. Actually, until now she's like that but she does it in a different way now. Well, she scares me to death by being such a nagger mom that she is. It's sometimes annoying, but I love her for being like that.

Of course, other than my mom is my whole family. Although I have to admit that we're such a dysfunctional one, at least I'm proud to say that I know that no matter what happens their love for me will never change. Yes, I know that I'm such a stubborn and spoiled daughter sometimes but I still believe in their love. Even if they cannot support me sometimes, I know that won't ever change.

L-O-V-E

The amazing thing about being human is the ability to feel, which makes us far different from any other species in this world. Humans feel happiness, pain, acceptance, anger, etc. But my personal favorite emotion is what they call, LOVE.

They say that love is the combination of joy and acceptance. Well, I say that it's what most people always long for everyday. It's what keeps people going. It gives inspiration to many people around the world. It's that kind of spark that gives people hope despite of everything around them. It is an emotional need for an individual to survive in this big, bad world.

The best thing about having that emotion in your life is that it is not only from one person. You can get it from almost anyone and everyone around you. You should always be grateful for receiving such love from someone. It will fill up your own "love tank", and you'll be happier. But of course, as you fill up your love tank you should be able to also give some love to others. You should be able to share love to people, that's why we were created. He created people to be able to spread His genuine love and to also receive that love from Him.

But the question is, are you ready to fill up that love tank?

The Golden Rules

I was able to contact Justine, so most probably I'd be able to get the baby by next week since I'll be busy with school this week. I am excited for that! So while I'm waiting for that day for the baby to come, I want to share the Golden Rules of Lomography.


1. Take your camera everywhere you go.

2. Use it any time – day and night.

3. Lomography is not an interference in your life, but part of it.

4. Try the shot from the hip.

5. Approach the objects of your Lomographic desire as close as possible.

6. Don’t think. (William Firebrace)

7. Be fast.

8. You don’t have to know beforehand what you captured on film.

9. Afterwards either.

10. Don’t worry about any rules.

Well, the Golden Rules are made to guide and disarm you of the formalities and rules of photography. You may or may not follow the rules. What I really like about the rules is that is simply says, "Don't think, just shoot!". The important is to just enjoy every moment of it while taking beautiful pictures with your favorite Lomo.

Now, don't you just love Lomography? :D

Back

In my search about Lomo cameras, I've discovered the popular Holga and its own beauty and uniqueness from the rest. What I really like about the Holga is the effect that it produces. To add to my amazement I discovered the baby of the Holga family -the Holga micro 110. It's so small and handy. You can actually put it anywhere or use it as a keychain because of its tiny size. Well, it uses a 110 film with f/8, 25mm lens. It has a mechanical shutter speed of 1/125 sec with a fixed focus of 1m to infinity.

This cute thing may not have the great specifications of the other Holga cameras, such as having its built-in colorflash, variable shutter speeds, and two aperture settings. But do not belittle this kid because it almost produces the same effect as what the other Holga cameras produce. Also, I also started to look where I could buy one and thus far, the cheapest that I found is Php 600.00. It's really affordable, and it's making me want to buy it already. Its film costs Php 75.00 per roll.

Okay, I'm getting excited for this cute one. Most probably I'd buy this one first then I'd save money for the next toy camera that I'd want to have. I'd better contact Justine later, can't wait!

Wake up slow

Don't you just love and hate it when it rains? You love it because it makes you stay longer in bed and just cuddle your bear. You hate it because it makes you lazier, and sometimes it makes your day glum. Well, I chose to love the weather today and so I stayed a little longer in bed. I didn't even have plans or anything for the day, but to just rest and continue my search for THAT Lomo camera.

But I think I need to have my caffeine fix first, then I'll search in a few minutes. Forgive me, but I really need caffeine for me not to be grumpy the whole day.